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There is perhaps no greater fear in a parent's heart than the thought that a much-loved and well-cared-for child will make bad choices or even become a prodigal.
What are parents to do in such circumstances? Authors Jim Newheiser and Elyse Fitzpatrick speak from years of personal experience as both parents and biblical counselors about how hurting parents can deal with the emotional trauma of when a child goes astray. They offer concrete hope and encouragement along with positive steps parents can take even in the most negative situations.
Also includes two chapters of excellent advice, from Dr. Laura Hendrickson, regarding medicines commonly prescribed to problem children, and offers questions parents can ask pediatricians before using behavioral medications. A heartfelt and practical guide for parents.
Click on "additional information" (below) for a book review by Ramona Edwards.
Did you ever begin reading a book, only to find yourself underlining nearly every sentence as you read? I have and, believe it or not, this is the second time I have read the book! I am underlining much more in When Good Kids Make Bad Choices, by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Jim Newheiser, than I did during my first reading of it, in October of 2007.
Not only do I remember the date of my first reading of this book, but I remember the exact place. I was on a long layover in the Dallas airport, while my husband was at home dealing with a rebellious son whom we eventually were forced to send out of our home. Rarely had I devoured a book as I did this one, finding salve for a broken mother’s heart among its pages.
Now, I find myself reading this book again and gaining even more insight from it than I did the first time. With one daughter having just left our home in rebellion and many other kids-becoming-young-adults-before-our-eyes in our home (ages 14, 17, 18, 19, 19, 19, 20, and 21), I can only absorb the wisdom in one chapter at a time, as it is truly more rich than the cheesecake that I had for lunch today!
I cannot review this book well enough to do it justice, especially since I have only reread the first chapter so far… Thus, I will simply share some quotes from Chapter 1 with you:
“Does the Bible prescribe specific methods of parenting that promise success every time? The biblical answer to this question is “No, there are no foolproof methods of parenting.” That’s because there are other factors at work in our children’s lives, and because none of us ever perfectly parents our children.” (page 20)
“Generally speaking, children from Christian families that honor the Scriptures usually turn out much better than children raised in unbelieving homes that reject His Word. There are, however, exceptions. Just as it’s possible for a hardworking man to remain poor {reference Proverbs 10:4, “ A slack hand causes poverty, but the hand of the diligent makes rich.”}, it’s also possible for kids who’ve had faithful parents to turn from the truth.”
“What we need to realize is that there are no promises that God will always and in every case save our children, no matter how diligent we are in directing them to the Lord we love… Consider instead the fact that the Bible teaches there are three factors, not just one, that determines how a child turns out:
• Parents are responsible to humbly honor the Lord and faithfully obey His Word in training their children.
• Children are responsible to humbly honor their parents and the Lord by responding faithfully in obedience.
• The Lord is ruling sovereignly over the lives of both parents and children, directing them according to His good purposes.” (pages 21-22)
“Godly parenting does not guarantee great kids because children make choices that are outside of our ability to control…Although we were able to exercise some authority over their behavior when they were young, the truth is that their hearts have always been outside our control….Having a wise father does not guarantee a wise son or daughter because a child can choose to reject the ways of wisdom and live foolishly.” (page 24)
“As parents, we shouldn’t be shocked (though we frequently are) that a child who loves the world may exhibit hatred toward us.” (page 27)
“You know, the Lord has to pour out just as much grace to save a child from a believing family as He does to save one from a more worldly environment!” {That one is my favorite!!}
OK, I could go on and on, but I think you probably "get the picture" – if you have children, at least! Rather, I will close in urging all Christian parents to purchase this book and read it – as many times as necessary.
-- Ramona Edwards, mother of eleven, Huntsville, Alabama
